I grew up in a yelling house. More militant and borderline traumatic than I’d like to admit, but that’s a story for another day. What I knew going in was that I wanted to raise my kids with far less of it. I don’t like hearing it, and I really loathe it when it comes out of me.
With kids close in age, the preschool and elementary years are no joke. More pushback, more sibling drama, more repeating myself until I finally snapped. I was yelling way more than I was comfortable with and something had to change.
So I went basic. I tried reward charts and they weren’t for me. Too much writing, tracking, and counting. I needed something tactile, low effort, and easy on the brain. I already had ceramic dipping bowls lying around and leftover gemfrom an old holiday art project. Done.
Here’s how it works:
Each kid starts at zero. The goal is ten gems, which earns a surprise, usually something from the Lakeshore Learning catalogue or an Amazon wishlist item under $30.
Gems are earned by:
- Doing something I asked the first time without repeating myself
- Sharing and being genuinely kind throughout the day
- Sitting down and doing homework without a battle (1-2 gems)
Gems are lost for:
- Ignoring basic expectations like getting dressed
- Whining
- Excessive arguing or escalated sibling infighting
So far, it has worked incredibly well. The house is much quieter, tempers are down, and the kids get genuinely excited every time they hear a gem drop into their bowl.
A few quick tips if you want to try this:
- Buy real glass gems, not the cheap plastic ones. Kids love the weight and texture of them; it makes the reward feel real.
- Any container works, but let your kids pick out their own bowl. It gives them a sense of ownership right from the start.
Good luck out there, and keep on keepin’ on